Duty Now for the Future

OK, if that title doesn’t open up a whole can of ear worms for you, then do yourself a favor and type that phrase into Spotify right this minute. Up until a few years ago my presence on the planet had been poured into inflexible molds dictated much by the will of others, confining and […]


My most recent opposite-sex-connection ended recently. I’m not terribly sad about it, though we’ve been sleeping together once a week for about six months, so I was lightly fond of him. I call him an opposite-sex-connection because it wasn’t a relationship. I mean, it wasn’t a relationship in the way that people often talk about […]

Fuck Pretense

I was a classical violinist for about 20 years. From age 9 to about age 30, I persisted. It was a struggle. An instrument I loved with all my heart when I began taking lessons became my nemesis, the most hated object in my world, by the time I was 18. After I left my […]

The Mirror, Crack’d

I’m caught in an infinite loop of self-love and self-harm, and it needs to stop because the pain it’s causing me is dangerous. In the post “All the Right Cooks in the Kitchen” I wrote about seeing everything that you do good for yourself as an act of self-love. In other words, running five miles […]

What’s New, Pussycat?

You’re welcome for the earworm. If you don’t know what an earworm is, or what song that’s supposed to be, you might be a millennial. Or whatever the fuck Gen Z is. Yesterday marks one year that I’ve been in Portland. Or it marks the day that I left Albuquerque. I can’t seem to easily […]

Mirror, Mirror

Today I started a task I’ve been dreading for quite some time. I began sorting through all the things I brought with me from my old life in New Mexico. When I arrived in Portland, I threw these things into the back of my two new closets and gradually piled pieces of the new life […]


The pendulum swings back and forth, up and down, here and there. I know my “public” interface on this site is on a pastel background and has a nice font and is light and bright (“public”, is that you, Ghost?). Trust me, it’s not like that on this end. Over here, the screen is black, […]

Double Standards

OK Ghost, listen up. It’s time to talk about everyone’s most favorite topic….sexual harassment! Yes, dear Ghost, it might not be a fun subject, but we’re going to trot out this old nag and give her a once over. No, not me. The topic. Focus. Twice in about the last two months I’ve had an […]

Steve, the Sea, and the New Purple Bike

I’m decompressing. It was a whirlwind of a weekend with lots of Love. Lots of Bikes. Some new Friends. A Dog and a Dog-adjacent being. The weekend started with me learning a very important lesson about leaving Portland for destinations north on a Friday afternoon. I thought I was beating the traffic by leaving at […]